Last night I had to go to the bookstore to see if I could find a copy of a book for my women's bible study group. I picked up "Fifty Shades of Grey" instead. Yeah, I don't know what happened either...
I started out heading upstairs to "Christian Inspiration" via "New Bestsellers". I saw "Fifty" and really wanted to see what all the fuss was about--for research purposes only. As a writer, I would love to someday have a career that involves the phrase "book advance". I kind of needed to see what a #1 NYT Bestseller that has been banned in three states actually looks like. I picked up a copy while Phill muttered, "I have to read that thing, too."
So I finally made my way up to the Christian books (all the while holding "Fifty Shades of Grey". Nice...). Phill was over in "Fiction" looking for more Stephen King books while I unsuccessfully searched for "A Confident Heart". While I was there, a woman in the same aisle beckoned her friend over to look at a book she picked up. I hid the cover of my own book while I eavesdropped on their conversation. It was a book about what is essentially praying for weight loss. The first woman, who was overweight, exclaimed, "It spoke to me!"
I am all for God speaking to people, and totally believe in it. However, I don't think this was the case. Anything with the words "weight loss" is going to "speak to you". Paying $700 last year on personal training "spoke to me". Paid programming for "SENSA" has been speaking to me lately, and I may try it after the baby is born in October. That's not God, that is a natural instinct to want to look like a Victoria's Secret Model.
It occurs to me that these thoughts are not the ones to have in the "Christian Inspiration" section, so I gave up and paid for my very dirty, very non-Christian erotic romance novel. Yes, I still have a long, long way to go.
But it also got me thinking. Of all the crap I have done in my life, is buying a book on the top of my naughty list with God? Like, say we all had to have a little sit down with Jesus after we die...I'm pretty sure He would have other things to address with me:
Jesus: So, about that time you banged your fists on an SUV passenger window, screaming, "The fatter to kick your ass with"...?
Me: She started it! She hit my car door with hers ON PURPOSE and then called me fat and suggested a wheat grass cleanse!
Jesus: *SIGH* And the time you tripped a child at a Burger King Playland?
Me: He started it! He pushed my kid and her little friends around! She was only three and he was a giant in comparison! He was on his eighteenth unsupervised lap of terror when I "accidentally" stuck my foot out while chatting with some mommies!
...Yeah. The book is small potatoes in comparison. And I realize I need church. It's why I go there every week. ;-) I would like to think I am improving though. I haven't unleashed my malice on any vehicles or tiny terrors since I got saved. PROGRESS, I'd say!
P.S. I still need to find that book. I had to search Route 28 for the Christian bookstore only to find it had already closed. That I can find "Fifty Shades of Grey" in four minutes but can't recall what part of town DeColores Christian Books is in speaks volumes. Working on it!
If I were still Catholic, I would be on my 800th Hail Mary right about now.
--Angie
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